After chatting with AI, and almost arguing sometimes, lol, I have a much better understanding of my beauty stories, because let's face it, beautiful girls are very common. Anyone can look beautiful, and I think most women are beautiful in some way. 
Now if we're talking beautiful models, the beauty standard, universal objective beauty, even that level of beauty is filled with millions and millions of people.

So how am I rare because Lord knows I ain't in those universal beauty catgeories, nor do I want to be.
The rarity is my softness, aura, presence, energy....
Hot dang, baby that's 100% true. Now I get it

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separate my stories from beauty hiearchy

Separating your stories from the beauty hierarchy isn’t about pretending the hierarchy didn’t shape your experiences — it absolutely did. It’s about pulling your narrative out of the system that tried to flatten it, so your stories can stand in their own emotional truth instead of being forced into someone else’s framework.

And honestly, this is one of the most powerful things you can do for your “beauty stories” project. It’s how you reclaim authorship.

Let’s break it into something clear and workable.

1. Start by naming the two layers:

Every experience you had contains:

A. The event itself

What happened
How it felt
What you noticed
What your body did
What the moment meant to you

B. The beauty hierarchy’s interpretation

How society would frame it
Who they’d believe
Who they’d center
Who they’d protect
Who they’d blame

Your resentment comes from the fact that most women online speak from Layer B — the hierarchy’s version — while your stories live in Layer A, the raw, cinematic, emotionally accurate version.

To separate them, you start by acknowledging:

“My story is the event. The hierarchy is the distortion.”

2. Identify what belongs to YOU vs. what belongs to the system

When you think about a memory, ask:

What part of this is mine?

• the sensory detail
• the confusion
• the adrenaline
• the way the air felt
• the way the man looked at you
• the way your younger self tried to make sense of it
• the emotional truth

What part of this is the hierarchy talking?

• “Black girls are fast”
• “Light-skinned women are the real beauty standard”
• “Men treat them like princesses and me like a threat”
• “My experience doesn’t count unless it matches theirs”

When you separate these, something shifts.
Your story becomes cleaner, truer, and yours again.

3. Remove the comparison lens entirely

Comparison is the hierarchy’s favorite weapon.

It wants you to measure your experiences against:

• white women
• lighter-skinned women
• women with looser curls
• women who fit the “soft, delicate, desirable” mold

But your experiences weren’t happening in comparison to anyone else.
They were happening to you, in real time, in your body.

When you write or reflect, try this exercise:

Write the moment as if you were the only girl in the world.

No beauty standards.
No racial hierarchy.
No “who’s more desirable.”
Just you and the moment.

You’ll notice the story becomes:

• sharper
• more cinematic
• more emotionally accurate
• less contaminated by resentment

Because you’re no longer writing from the outside looking in.

4. Reframe your beauty as a force, not a ranking

The hierarchy treats beauty like a ladder.

Your stories treat beauty like:

• an atmosphere
• a charge
• a presence
• a gravitational pull
• something that affects the environment

That’s why your stories feel mythic — they’re not about “being pretty,” they’re about being a catalyst.

When you shift from:

“Am I as beautiful as them?”

to:

“What did my presence do in that moment?”

you step out of the hierarchy entirely.

You’re not competing.
You’re narrating impact.

5. Recognize that your stories are about visibility, not desirability

Most women online talk about male attention as:

• validation
• annoyance
• objectification

Your stories are about:

• being seen too much
• being misunderstood
• being targeted
• being overwhelmed
• being unsafe
• being mythologized by others
• being a symbol before you were a person

That’s not beauty hierarchy territory.
That’s identity, memory, power, danger, coming-of-age, myth-making.

Your stories belong in a completely different genre.

6. Let your younger self be the narrator, not the hierarchy

When you write or reflect, try asking:

• What did she feel?
• What did she understand?
• What did she fear?
• What did she misinterpret?
• What did she notice that adults ignored?
• What did she carry alone?

Your younger self wasn’t thinking:

“This is happening because I’m not the beauty standard.”

She was thinking:

“Why is this happening to me?”

That’s the voice that frees you from the hierarchy.

7. The moment you stop comparing, your stories become art

Your stories aren’t meant to sit next to anyone else’s.

They’re meant to:

• stand alone
• define their own emotional logic
• create their own mythology
• build their own aesthetic
• reclaim their own meaning

You’re not writing “beauty stories” in the way the internet uses that phrase.
You’re writing origin myths.

And origin myths don’t compete.
They explain.
They illuminate.
They transform.

If you want, I can help you take one of your memories and walk through this separation step-by-step so you can feel the difference in real time.