Never will. In fact I never knew that that particular stereotype mattered to so many Black women, until I got on social media. Throughout my life, I don't recall anyone ever even mentioning some "angry Black woman" nonsense.

Of course I've always been aware of the millions of tasteless, nonsensical, unintelligent and evil ways this world classifies Black people; and stereotypes are indeed damaging and deadly, but this particular one, I assumed most Black women were like me, and just didn't give a damn about being viewed as an angry Black woman.

Who TF cares! My race trauma is about, ummm, stop lynching Black people! I could not care less which bastard thinks I'm angry, lazy, or (insert any other negative word because every Black stereotype is about negativity).

Why would I try to prove anything to anyone who is already inferior enough to buy into lies in the first place? 

F these people and what they think. Just don't harm or unalive me and others who look like me for bloodthirsty desires, and then I'm good. I don't give a damn about what they think about my Black ass. Fuck them!

So I'm rarely on Facebook of course, as part of my healing journey but sometimes I do get nosy and scroll just a few minutes. I came across this lady, whom I've been following for years and love, and she was mentioning how she was being disrespected and bullied in her own home by a contractor, but she worked hard to stay extremely calm because she didn't want to come across as the angry black woman

Ugh! If you angry and got a right to be, then so be it! Who cares what that guy or anyone else thinks about your rightful emotions. Like, is holding back your emotions gonna make someone go "Well Billy you know, I thought all them black gals wuz angry but I came across one the other day and treated her bad and by golly gee she wasn't angry. So now we'se got to give them peoples they equal rights."

Like, what is the logic behind allowing stereotypes into your mind and life like this? Yes I have trauma too and I know it is not based in logic, but emotion.
But there comes a time where you gotta evaluate what you are doing and saying, and why. And there comes a time when you have to see if you are continuing to hurt your own self and stress your own self out.

You can be the happiest, giggling outgoing Black woman and someone would still find a way to label you mean, angry or whatever stereotype they feel like. F them!

Like the amazing episode on the Jefferson's, where the shoe-shining guy Otis said, "We spend so much time trying to prove them wrong, by saying they were right in the first place!"

With as much trauma, rage and pain I have regarding race, I'm obviously not above internalizing stereotypes. I understand to a certain extent.

For instance, if a vibe or something is off and I'm in a store or something, I might start feeling like, hey, "They think I'm stealing because I'm Black."

It'll make me feel self-conscious, uncomfortable, debate whether I should say something, or leave the store. Chile these days the employees be so busy and overworked they don't be watching anyone, lol, but let's say if I was at a fancy store or something.

So feeling uncomfortable, targeted and uneasy comes with the territory of being Black in this world but baby when it gets to the point where you offend me, then that's a whole different story, a whole different plot, writer and editor baby.

If I'm offended and being treated unfairly, then baby it'll be like slavery never happened because I'mma act up, I'm not gonna even realize I'm Black, lol, I want to be treated the way I deserve to be treated. 

And that's partly why I was in therapy, to help control my rage outbursts because I'll end up getting arrested if my temper kept on. Great thing is I'm usually treated very kindly when I'm out and about. Thank goodness because I do have a temper problem, well, according to my therapist it's a trauma response.

Once I get triggered then boom....I lose it, and that is not healthy nor safe regardless of your race. And I can understand trying to "remain professional" so you won't make a bad situation worse...but refusing to show your justified anger just based on stupid race stereotypes, well that is not any healthier than my rage outbursts.

Healing
Everybody got their own trauma to work through.
And I'm irritated by so many other Black women caring about some stereotype from stupid ass people, but point is, I should not be exposing myself to their stories, their opinions, their pages and posts and thus I wouldn't have known...

I swear it doesn't matter if I just scroll for 2 minutes or 20 minutes, there's always something that I could have definitely done without knowing.

So, this is my reminder, no matter how much I care about and love a person's personality, businesses, ideas, page etc, for years and years, her TV show and everything, I still have to stay out of people's business even if they post it, it's up to me to stop watching, listening and caring.

I got too much of my own trauma to work through and heal from. It would be nice if it were possible to look at people's pages that you love and enjoy their content without so much uninviting information lurking around the corner