Titanic

Healing in Progress

Last Post by Zuri 4 days ago

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Zuri

(@zuri)

Posts: 60

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A few days ago I decided to test how far I'm come on my healing journey. I saw that Titanic was on and decided to watch some of it. Here is why this represents a monumental step in my healing from race

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Jack! Jack! Jack!

So basically, I was like around 21 when Titanic came out in 1997. My sisters and I were so fascinated with the movie. Even by today's standards, those special effects hold up. I remember feeling just like I was on the ship while it was sinking. I remember how the sound effects of the ship "growling" made it seem like the ship was alive and was angry that it was filling up with water.

You gotta also remember that back then, not many movies were putting out those type of special effects. Now, I just expect big ole over-the-top special effects; I can't imagine how there can be anymore wow factor because it seems like everything has been done as it relates to special effects, especially in the age of superhero movies.

I'm sure I'm wrong and that my husband would especially disagree when I make blanket statements like that; so I'll ask him tomorrow when he wakes up, what is his view. He has more knowledge here and would be able to back up his points

(Hey whether it's miniature models, green screen, CGI or VFX or whatever else is out there, I'm old school, I just call it all "special effects" lol.)

Mostly during that time in the 90's, it was a lot of action movies, so the natural disaster effect was new and groundbreaking.

I remember after the movie I was frantically talking about the movie and was like "I know I'll die someday and someway, but I'm glad I was not on the Titanic." Something like that...

Race was not a factor in my thinking. Just pure emotion from being a person who was always incredibly fascinated by the Titanic since I was a kid. There was a made for TV 2 part movie series about the Titanic that came out in 1996 and I watched that as well.

Before I understood the scientific limitations, I used to be like, "They should have the technology to pull it from the ocean, put it in a museum and I'll be there to see it." This reminds me about the wealthy people going down in the submarine, Lord, just doing the most. I never had any intentions of risking my life to see the Titanic. However, Titanic is mesmerizing history.

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Jack! Jack! Jack!

I definitely understand the criticism of turning a historical tragedy into a fictional love story; and one in which it takes 2 hours for the historical tragedy to happen. But for me Rose was just so easy to relate to, seemingly having it all on the outside but wanting a more meaningful connection to her fiancée, mother and others that she'll be forced to live around for the rest of her life.

I also liked how Rose was regular-sized weight and was not some over-the-top typical looking Hollywood type. She just felt so regular to me; again this is back before I realized that her race alone is the "everything needed" to fit into Hollywood standards-not weight! But at least at that time, I felt like she was representing what regular every-day women looked like.

Now, based on looks, Leonardo DiCaprio looked like a model and of course not representative of day-to-day men. However, I could connect with him at that time because he was an outcast from the wealthy; in fact he was dirt poor and considered trash by the elites.

Looking back it's like lol, he still had not a single solitary thing in common with me. His so-called struggles, lol, are absolutely candy drops in comparison to the groups I'm in.

Chile...poor or not, he ain't have nothing to worry about, because of his race.

However, the movie is set up to where he's supposed to be so relatable to the average person. Can't believe I ever fell for that, lol but again I was 21.
All he had to do was put on a suit and he fit right in. That's definitely not something I could do. Chile let me put this fancy ball gown dress on and do my hair...
Lol, so anyway...

On another note, I was just briefly reading some comments and some people mentioned how Leonardo looked way too young for the role. And I'm like wow, now I can't unsee that. He definitely looked like a whole baby. I didn't realize that, one reason being I looked like a baby myself so it was like, age matters, looks are just looks. But I'm older now and see it differently. He looked too young....

And while race wasn't the debilitating, inescapable torture horror movie for me at that time, I still was not in some fairytale 'we are the world, we are all one race, the human race'....bologna type delusion. I have never been like that.

Of course Leonardo had model looks, but it's never been possible for me to be romantically attracted to white guys, no matter their appearance, it's like my brain and body has some type of memory as it relates to what my female ancestors went through specifically as it relates to their wombs, so there's just something really overwhelming there. So I think a narrative was that young girls were going to see the movie over and over because of him, and of course that's absolutely true.

I went to see it 3 times, and was gifted with the DVD...oh wait, at that time it was VHS, lol. I forgot what VHS stands for and had to look it up (Video Home System). So yeah, the movie was so long you had more than 1 video cassette tape. Stops through the movie and put the other one in...so weird lol.

Again, I'm not focusing on other Black people and their heritage, just me, my heritage, and how it shows up in my life regarding who I can be romantically attracted to.

Funny enough, I was briefly dating this guy so I could relate to Rose even more and totally felt she made the right decision by jumping off that life boat.

So even though at 21 I wasn't romantically attracted to white guys, I still felt like the majority of them, as well as the majority of humans period, believed in right from wrong. And even if someone believed in terrible things, I still never had a clue regarding the level, depth and layers of that hatred. Never in a million years thought that people could sit back and defend the horrific things they defend and support.

It's one thing to not like someone-I grew up knowing where we stood with all this-but dang, they breath the hatred, it keeps their hearts beating, it's their lifeline. Like, chile I had no clue

So therefore back then, I could turn off my race thoughts and focus on the movie.
This ability to turn off or diminish my racial perceptions would of course, become extremely diminished during Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and be completely annihilated with the Trayvon Martin tragedy. All of my personal trauma as well as ancestral trauma was awakened.

So when you're chained by so much rage and underlying trauma from all angles, not only did it become extremely difficult to put your brain in relaxation mode for a few hours and watch a movie starring people who don't look like you.

Amazingly, there was 1 person on the Titanic who looked like me.

"Joseph Philippe Lemercier Laroche was a Haitian-born engineer best remembered as the only known Black passenger aboard the RMS Titanic."

I would have loved to have known this watching the movie. It was many years later when I found out.

"—As the ship sank in the early morning of April 15, Laroche stuffed the pockets of his coat with money and jewels and took his wife and children up to the boat deck. He wrapped the coat around his wife, and his last words to her were: “Here, take this, you are going to need it. I’ll get another boat. God be with you. I’ll see you in New York.”

—Joseph Laroche died in the sinking of the Titanic. His body was never recovered. His wife Juliette returned to Paris with her daughters and gave birth to their son, Joseph Lemercier Laroche on December 17, 1912."

Knowing there was 1 Black person, and his half Black children on the Titanic, really helps renew my fascination with this piece of history.

😀🦋🦋

Posted : 27/07/2025 5:32 am