I avoided the K. Lacy story, looks like for almost a year I did great staying away, scrolling fast, and drastically decreasing my use of social media so I won't even have to scroll fast. The only times this year I was using FB slightly consistently was:

1)A few weeks earlier in the year where I was scheduling post on my business page because I was hoping to make some sales, earn money to help family in financial crisis

2)I need the money for myself too

3)Around August, after having not posted on my personal page since November 2024, I started posting on my personal page only to share my therapy & healing journey. It's a way for me publicly speak up, honor my story, share my story under my real name. It helps me to deal with my story better by controlling the way I want my experiences shared. It helps reroute my brain to "Hey wow, this is interesting as hell. Girl you so interesting!" Lol.
It's for me as I turn comments off and don't want to engage on social media

So anyway, even during those limited times I still would scroll past any trauma stories; I knew so little about this story that I had no idea it would rip me apart when the other day, someone started talking about it. Once I got off the phone, things started to hit me slowly, but I still I thought I would handle it better than what I did.

K. Lacey 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔Poor absolutely beautiful, talented kid. I wish he could have held on.

I hurt and cried for 4 days.

During this time, my husband was still being playful. I was cooking breakfast and he purposely bumped into me, being playful, and I said "How do you know that I'm not in a crisis though I'm hurting and fighting."

He knows me; in this case better than I knew myself because to me, it felt like a crisis because I was hurting so much. However, my husband picks up on my tone of voice, energy, all types of mannerisms etc and if I'm "really sick in a crisis" he of course, gives me space because when I'm hurting I just can't fake happiness. He gives me space, time to heal.

So the other day during my grief storm for K. Lacy, my husband could tell that most of me was still in there, and thus that was really good for me to know that I was not completely losing myself in trauma and grief again.

  💔🌹💔🌹💔🌹

But it did hurt, and it's terrifying how much it hurt. It's been nearly a week and I'm much much better. However,

1)I was going to post links to my Black Christmas movie section, I was going to post links on Facebook since Christmas season is technically not even here yet. I was like how cool would it be to show that I am already ahead of the game watching Christmas movies lol

2)I just can't. I am working towards 'releasing the trauma out of my body.' When I go on the patio I make sure to say 'I release this trauma out of my body." Breathe and feel the weather on my skin...it makes me remember where I am

3)But, I already abhor social media so much, I just can't log in right now and share anything.
I actually would like to not log in until next Fall season, and then I can have my Black Christmas movie list ready as well as everything else about this site.

So it definitely set me back when it comes to putting myself out there in social. I couldn't watch Christmas movies at all last year due to my mental health crisis so it's a big deal for me!

At first I missed a night or 2 when I was hurting the most over K. Lacy. And how about one night I went in our office, my husband was watching a game and the announcer kept saying Ken Lacy over and over. I was like OMG, something stays trying to torture me

I just absolutely can't go through this again. I just can't. These tragedies are everyday for Black people; imagine knowing that if you know about anymore cases it's gonna destroy you for days or more.

I didn't go into a crisis, but it was a lot of suffering and I just can't deal with finding out anything anymore 

Had Awesome Day, Now Crying with Heartbreak – Healing in Progress – Healing & Halos Art Gallery Forum