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My hatred doesn't eat me alive anymore

Faith Black
(@blackarielforever-com)
Posts: 180
Member
Topic starter
 

Even though my hatred is 100% justified, righteous, sensible, it still is destructive to me. I have always looked inward regarding my emotions, since age 11, but when it came to rage I needed a lot of help getting to the root.
Feeling sad is sometimes easier I guess, than to pinpoint rage that has you wanting to unalive people.

So back when I first started with my most recent therapist, I used to spend 45 minutes during the first several sessions just raging about idiots online.
And then towards the end of the sessions I would be like, "Okay? Can't you understand why I rage and hate these folks so much? People are trash."

Therapist: But your rage is coming from within you.
What you mean coming from within me? I just spend all this time telling you about all these stupid, racist people online and people of my race online who hate their own race. How is it coming from within me? No it's them making me this way

He said: No matter what happens in the world, outside of your personal life, your response to it is about you.

So I did the work!!! And I've improved tremendously

Here's a recent example that I just posted about in: https://blackarielforever.com/forum/black-art/friday-night-philly-is-unrivaled/#post-396

-then I hope Sha'Carri will be okay; but soon as my husband told me she was arrested for speeding I was first glad she was okay and didn't hurt herself orΒ  anyone in a wreck or anything, but I started cussing and fussing about the comments I can imagine from all these "perfect people" online. I hate them so much, I don't even have to read anything 😡so I had to work on calming myself about trash people posting articles, comments etc that I'm not even gonna read. I still hate them, so man that's some hate. Good thing is, the hate is not my primary emotion anymore. I've been able to heal from my personal pain and thus calm my nervous system enough to where while the hate is there and always will be for these internet people, it doesn't take over me anymore

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It's tempting to post to judgmental angry ass people online: But, it's coming from within you.


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Posted : 31 January 2026 03:02
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