Found this old post from my FB business page, December 2022. Google had a graphic on the home page like how they are honoring an icon, and they had the person embedded in their Google image. I saw it was a Black man with a video game and they actually had it where you could temporarily play some games right there in the Google window.
I tried to avoid reading more about him because I know I always see something that bothers me as it relates to race. Very difficult to read anything without there being something negative said about Black people, even if you're reading about a Black genius. Ugh, sigh. So anyway, I found a blog responsible for some of the content and wrote this long post, which they didn't post...which is fine!
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What was special was the fact that I just had heaven-sent parents, a supportive neighborhood, supportive other family members, and teachers who never ever said that my skin color made me less than.
😀🦋🦋
These sacred rage painful thoughts, heart pouring out is only for me now, not ever wasting my time on any other sites, platforms, etc, leaving my thoughts on my own site only! Because everything is about me now. I do not care!
I totally knocked it out the park with this response. It's actually amazing to be in that much emotional pain due to race and still express myself the way I did. Getting all those thoughts, examples together...it's a lot of work and such emotional labor. It's abusive when you keep explaining yourself, your culture, over and over and even to other Black from the same culture who look down on the culture. I'm so glad I've freed myself. I used to think there was a chance that people would get basic principles, such as: We are equal. That's it.
And that there's a difference between culture vs behavioral patterns that are a result from unhealed trauma, untreated mental illness, race-based poverty and so on.
There is also a difference between culture vs subculture which again, subculture rises up due to trauma, chaos, poverty & so on as more and more people find themselves lumped into the same conditions and same locations and are cut off from productivity, they develop a destructive subculture to adapt to their inhumane situations.
My therapist told me that it's called economic segregation.
He also said most people on Earth do not have an understanding, let alone a deep understanding about what me and the few people like me are saying.
Also, I now know that most people prefer to hold on to their illusionary ideals that some group is inherently inferior (let's guess which group). 🙄🙄 Anyway, the sickening thing is that all the systems, media, loudest fools in society, all the entertainment, racist "research," Google results, site after site, interviews and so on, promote never ending antiblackness built on skin color and race being the #1 way to determine who is good, smart and beautiful.
There are very few people like me who believe in equality. My side is outnumbered and outpowered. Frustrating to be existing among zombies but I had to heal and get to the point where I just don't care!
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[Update March 2026]
I will always care of course, it's impossible for me not to care.
But the difference is 'caring with boundaries!'
Lots of boundaries.
Staying away from people's horrible opinions is an action and it matters, but it takes so much more work than just logging off.
I had to get people's horrible beliefs logged out of my head! That took me making video recordings of my trying to adjust my thought processes...
Just so much work, but I found some new roads to take that work and made sense for me, to be able to get people out of my head!
Oh and also remember that the boundaries shift around, and there will always be adjustments to make.
So I have to remember that, boundaries from months ago might need to be adjusted and so on and so forth.
As well asl I'm doing now, this is still a HALO for me!
😀🦋🦋
