[October 25, 2025]

I watched this tonight!! Hey every part of my healing journey matters. Being able to put aside the heaviness in my mind and simply look at something on the surface, for what it is, represents great growth for me.

Earlier today I was talking to someone about the "Cash Money taking over for the '99 and the 2000" famous line that I keep hearing about on social media through the years, and how it has me questioning the strength of my Black Card lol.

Of course I'm very familiar with the song and how massive it is. I went to cookouts back then lol. However, I didn't know "Cash Money taking over for the '99 and the 2000" got a culturally significant life of its own.

Thankfully she reminded me that since I am older than her (49), that era of music hit different and was more geared towards younger people at that time. I was in my early to mid20s. I was like "Oh that's right. 99 and 2000!" I felt better. Cookouts were typically much older people and are not clubs.
So people (of any age) who were in clubs, I know it was a different vibe that I did not get the impact of until recently lol

Back then, in my little green 1997 Nissan Sentra, I used to think I was doing something and think I was kinda cool when I would be listening to the radio version of Back that Thang Up

Same thing with many of the other songs from tonight. I would only hear the radio versions when I would be driving to and from class. 

The rap was so different from what I was used to, like LL Cool J, Kool Moe Dee, Public Enemy, Run D.M.C. and on and on. The rap back then was kind of more "pop" I guess, I don't know. I don't have musical knowledge like that. I just know that I would be like "well damn this is....different" even the clean version would be so different from what I grew up with

During a few sessions of the Verzuz, it was so hilarious, I texted someone:
"I have just heard the N-word more times in 5 minutes than I have in"...I really didn't even have a comparison 🤣
It was like "word, word, N-word. Word, word, N-word."

She was laughing so hard at my text, I mean it was so interesting lol.

How about whoever was running the Cheesecake Factory page, they was all in those comments lol, it was too funny

I enjoyed funny comments that were not evil like most of the Internet is now. These comments were funny cause they were like the rappers gonna need their medication and breathing exercises back stage. Stuff like that, was so funny

Give me a Project Chic. I was like hey I remember this, I can be a Project....what!?
She did what? 
Well damn.

Well, interesting how it took all these years for me to ever hear the real versions of many of those songs. Definitely not boring music I'll say that much lol.

I was this way, a few years ago I was watching a reel where the guy played the real version of "Naan" By Trick Daddy and Trina
I was like man, awesome song, hey I remember in my car I used to listen to this coming from class....
Wait what?
I was soooooo shocked and even my husband was laughing at me. He talking about he heard the real version because he actually went out.

Mia X is a goddess

-----------------
This moment in my healing journey is huge because it's about letting go and engaging in something else besides my rage against world, even if that "something else" is not in my normal comfort zone