Back in the 1980's, well, obviously back in every era before technology, since there was no technology we kids spent a lot of time together.
Modern tech is very overwhelming; think of how it affects the brain and especially developing brains. There are tons and tons of studies as well as anecdotal stories and everything in between.
Here's one:
How Living in a Digital World Changes Kids' Brains | Psychology Today

So I said all that to say, I think we children were each other's world back then. We were all we knew. And I think this is why we had a lot of crush-type emotions that were too big for our ages.
And my therapist said I was an old soul, so looking back, I definitely realize that had emotions about boys that were too big for my tiny age.

 It was a crush, but a long crush that defined my childhood.
We got along good at first, with some rocky times, but as we went towards those pre-teen years boy, I became his target.

Around this time, everything is changing very fast in the world. And it's getting violent. So, there was a lot of trauma and stress that this guy and others were dealing with.
It's not that he hated me. I've learned that he was just dealing with emotions and bad situations that were too big for his age, or any age.

Late 80s', early 90's...it was bad bad. His anger needed to go somewhere, and it happened to me.

My therapist had me to think of what could have been going wrong in his life, to make him have so much rage towards me, and I was like, yeah, I can't imagine. He has always held a special place in my heart because I know how terrible it was for us transitioning from childhood to adolescence and not everyone had the love, stability and support that I had.

I never judged him at all.

However, I in no way had a crush on him anymore during this time, lolol!!

And looking back, the feeling of "that's my childhood sweetheart" well I don't think at all that the feeling was mutual. And that's completely fine, he was a gorgeous boy so I was always competing and arguing with other girls about him, lol. He never claimed me like that.

Again, I know this sounds like "what in the hell kind of ....at what age?" but again, take away all the addictive and brain-altering technology and this is how kids will be again because it's completely natural, but it's too much.

So I do believe that he set the tone for me as it relates to good-looking boys in the world. 
If my own childhood crush turned against me, how could I believe that I'm pretty enough for other good-looking boys that will come along?

Now like I said, he set the tone of me feeling like, "Wow, a gorgeous boy can be nice to you for years then all of a sudden wants to hurt you, mock you and so on.

He set the tone but thank goodness, ancestors, angels and everyone my mama too for choosing my dad who set the FOUNDATION regarding how I am supposed to be treated by a boy or man.

-Respect
-Good communication
-Disagreements and arguments get resolved and don't linger for days

Now, I'm sorry but I think everyone's parents were arguing back then. That wasn't unusual, because in no way was everything fairytale. 
But here is what I notice:
No name calling
and here is a big one,
No fear.

Parents arguing, I knew it would get resolved eventually. I was never afraid of dad getting off work, or dad coming home.
We used to take our dad's work boots off when he got home.
We used to wait for him at the door.
I used to look down the street and when I saw him turn the corner I would say in a funny voice: "Papa is here."

So yeah, all of those details are so extremely important. 
My brain was being trained for:
Some boys and men in public keep treating me completely different from what I know is possible. I never felt like I would be locked into a world of mistreatment.

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🌸But okay, it's so cool how a few years after we were always into it, we saw each other at a football game and he was so happy to see me. He was just a smiling a mile.
And I was like, the same type of doubt that would follow me much of the time when I would get positive attention from boys.

🌸He will always have a special place in my heart 💖

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Dear Beautiful Teen Me: You Can Heal Now