You Can Heal Now
💞My parents did everything right
🌍The world is my wound; and that’s just how it is for some people
&
💞In the midst of this healing journey,
my husband told me:
He was talking about my body and my face.
And he said it’s not just because I’m his wife, but because, I am.
I literally had to learn this & I can totally accept and understand it now
***
Therapist:
“The more attention you attract,
the more likely you are to experience a higher rate of negative attention.”
“You were beautiful. And to some men and boys, that made you a target.”
So this is what I’ve been unpacking and processing the past few years
It’s been a long journey
I also grew up hearing:
“She’s going to be very fine when she grows up.”
💐100% Black Girl With the Black Girl Hair
My life doesn’t fit the typical narratives out there
I was not the Hollywood beauty standard.
Yet, the romanticization of me, not sexualization but romanticization like you see in a movie
Was from Black and white boys and men.
I didn’t think anything of it until I had to start examining my therapists’ comments
***
***
I’ve learned that romanticization blurred the lines between their fantasies and my reality
I was too young
And when I got in my 20’s, I still was very child-like.
So there is a lot of processing here
If you’re getting that much public space attention, it is going to a mix of:
Negative, positive, neutral and some you have no idea how to categorize
So it all just lands….hard. Confusing, and wounding.
And very often, the positive would backfire
Exhausting.
Also, negative comments have a greater impact than very positive ones
Scientific proof, so it’s not about being “weak, too sensitive, or having bad nerves”
For healing though, I have got to make sure I make more room for the positive memories
Well that’s all for now.
You Can Heal Now
🤣 But stop using social media unless you only use it to post healing information.
Teen me: what’s social media?
I am going to let my nervous system just sit with this amazing work for a while, before adding more.
Just let it sit and glow.
I could not be more proud
-Zuri Faith Black